moment of clarity

warning: this contains truth and fiction. the lines are meant to be extremely blurred.

Friday, August 28, 2009

bathing nostalgic

there were dim lights and there was dancing and singing. i was happy. i had that chance to enjoy a blissful bath again. nothing fancy. just a house with no one else around, where i can walk around bare. just a cd player near the bathroom, with surround sound. just me and my thoughts...and the candles and the citrus soap. i felt good and relaxed. AND FREE. so free, in fact, that I was reminded of my days (almost a decade of them) in UP. i'm at a time in my life where i have the luxury of looking back (and probably going back) to places and things and people which/who made life a joy, filled my heart with bliss, and serve as bookmarks for life chapters which to me are constant and ready reference.

i'm on a leave from the workforce and yet, i still find myself busy with all sorts of research matters [aka raket =) ]. and with big plans and small dreams in between. i've been wanting to go to UP, just to walk around, with my bare feet against the earth and my face against the wind (and the big trees nurturing my soul). just so i could get back some of that energy i must have left behind when i graduated four years back. and go to places i frequented with friends who are now far and away but still very much at heart. i've been raring to go but i, instead, content myself with checking out how friends are through facebook and looking up what's new with UP through google. talk about lethargy.

my stay in UP (in Diliman) was a space and time where i gained friends, conviction, affirmation, courage, and non-negotiable self respect...which I bring with me everyday to everywhere, to refuel with spunk whatever version of believer I am and will become in the coming days and opportunities. the inspiration would probably never run out, last me a lifetime, and help revive me whenever I feel like I'm running on empty.

hmmm, my stomach feels empty. i'll snack on soya milk and some leftover cake. turns out there's no cake to eat. but there's chocolate suman. ah, life is good...a nice bath, comfort food, time to rest, and good memories of friends with whom i'd be delighted to have coffee, good conversation, and laughter again...maybe when they(those who are abroad) get back or when I get to visit them (who are near but for some reason I don't get to see), no matter how distant that future time will be. i'm looking forward to sharing things, places, and moments again with them...

somewhere along Matalino or Maginhawa St.; at the Elliptical Circle, at McDonald's Philcoa, at the Padi's Point bar on top of McDo; in UP: at the Ipil kiosks, the Main Libe walkway, the sunken garden during Fair Week, the academic oval, at the Melchor Hall, AS Steps, and at the Bocobo driveway, at Sarah's or Gulod; in Cubao: during UAAP games at the Araneta Coliseum, meals and movies at Gateway; along Tomas Morato or Timog: at Coffee Bean, the old Nescafe Cafe at the Scout Rotunda, at Pepeton's; at/in my favorite places: the ampitheatre near the Oblation, at the steps near Manang Babe's stall, at the CASAA, at the Palma Hall kiosks, and in that spot at the back of the Main Library, under those giant, gentle trees just when the sun is about to set...

i want to get back to those places. i need to appreciate those kindred spirits again. I wish to take hold of those times and always have them with me. and those things i shall do through this log of plans and hindsight, dreams and nostalgia, and great moments and gratitude...today, i'll be walking the halls of UP again... to breathe in whatever that was that made my UP moments some of the best in life. to get some more of that candles-citrus-and-down-time-bliss i've been holding at bay.