moment of clarity

warning: this contains truth and fiction. the lines are meant to be extremely blurred.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Life Does Not Always Have To

It doesn't always have to make sense. Sometimes you just have to accept what is dealt to you. Otherwise, you will go insane trying to reconcile how fate is bringing you hurtful, unnecessary things despite your good intentions.

The sooner you realize that it is not fair, the sooner you may improve the odds to happiness. You do not always have to question the purpose of things. You wouldn't be better off if you constantly challenge the wisdom behind the unfolding of events.

It is not all about you. People are out to look after their own interests, too. Thus, you have to carry your own weight. It may be a struggle but you do not always have to be fighting. Sometimes, on some very serendipitous occasions, things, people and events just bring you with them. Aware but not in control, you just have to succumb to the confusion. There are just moments when all you can do is let go.

Egocentric as you are, you might think such experiences are degrading, unbecoming...because things cannot just happen to you. You've always believed that things happen for you...or, that you make them happen. To your surprise, letting go might just prove to be one of the most empowering and enlightening decisions you would ever make. Amazing as it is, you realize that it doesn't always have to make sense. Life does not always have to...

Monday, February 07, 2005

trying to make sense

My facial wash smells like the iced tea I drank at lunch. That thought comforts me in a weird way. These days I get to appreciate a lot of small details. I'm guessing this is because I am swamped with many enormous tasks. I know it doesn't seem to make sense but under my circumstances, it does.

Sunday is supposed to be my lazy (laziest) day. However, I cannot afford to have lazy days anymore. My week starts and ends within the same minute. I am not even aware which day of the week it is already. They are all the same to me. This must be the reason why rather trivial things determine whether my day will be happy or not.

Today I've had the chance to encounter beautiful little things and wonderful people. I may not have time to recount all the details but I am thankful that there are moments to relish my days by when I actually have the time.

In a while I will have to get back to overcoming what seems insurmountable. For now, I content myself with taking delight in writing and the feel of my coffee cup. When things get tiresome, the familiar never fail to make sense no matter how worn out the brain has become at trying.