walk

sometimes i think to myself...maybe it's not about doing the right thing or being the right person. maybe it's not about that all the time. maybe, just maybe, it's good enough that you realize you did wrong or that you could do a lot better. maybe that would be good enough just for now.

i used to get why excuses always were lame, no matter what the situation was. now, i just can't help but see the whole picture. and from where i'm standing the whole picture is mostly gray. it is so much harder to see black and white now. the lines remain blurry even as the sobriety comes in.

all this probably seems a sorry attempt at justification. you are always entitled to see it that way but you can also try to walk a little further with these blistered feet. i just don't have shoes for you to try on, not right now. most of those shoes, a lot of those roles in life, have been worn out or have rendered me weary. i took them off before they got torn. obviously, i made a lot of mistakes along the way.

that's all i've gathered so far...i've made mistakes. i'm probably not gonna be able to chew on how bad those mistakes were. not yet. the cycle of being wronged and doing people wrong has rendered me confused. it's gonna take some time before things would have settled and i'd be back to keen mode again. for now, i'm glad to just have my quiet time every once in a while.

quiet and peaceful need not coincide after all. until such time that i'd be able to reclaim my serenity back, i'd be more than glad to walk myself away from 'wrong'. and, in silence, i'd hope that just knowing would lead me to where right clearly is.